SliderGuide.com, the popular skeleton community site adored by tens of fans, was admitted to an Adirondack hospital on Saturday night following a brutal attack by an unknown assailant. The attacker, believed to be approximately 7 years old and from the Netherlands, is still at large.
Witnesses say words were exchanged between the two parties, resulting in a noogie, a wet willy, and a downright immature, potentially life threatening atomic wedgie.
Despite being in critical condition, SliderGuide is concious and - as one doctor told us - attempting to "grope female nurses". We were able to make contact with the site's next-of-kin, mediocre skeleton athlete Kyle Tress. Tress told us the site was 'progressing well"but that it will be a "rough few months ahead". A statement will be made on SliderGuide's behalf in the next few days.
Until then, just chill out.
Christopher Croce
February 28, 2007, at 05:15PMNice. "Adored by tens of fans". Did you happen to get the 7 year old's information: name, address, physical features?